I Wish I Could Be Consistent For You

I wish I could be consistent for you.
To appear as you(‘ve) know(n) me to be.
I feel myself in constant motion.
Like certain screen savers that change color & design always
in motion. I’m saving a place for you.
I feel like a kaleidoscope too.

I wish I could be consistent for you.
So you’d be at ease and things between us would be easier
to navigate.
I’ve always known I’ve always known I’ve always known
I was more than this body.
That I am limitless large expansive infinite.
That I could shift my shape at will
I like change changing
travel traveling.
I like being mysterious to you and myself
exploring investigating discovering creating digging deep
and coming up for air, free and new and fresh, and blue. Without a care
in the world, though I do..
I do care for you.
I promised him and I promised her
that I would come to them on the scent of a rose
so they’d know I was okay.
I’d like to come to you in true love my true love
on the wings of a dove
an afro asian cuban native
american beat of a drum.
I’d love it if you’d welcome me home
receive me whole
if you’d be my home.
kiss me soft
kiss me softly
then not so soft..
hold me close and let me go
when I need to go.
And if you’d save a place for me, like Tracy sings:
“Save a place for me. Save a place for me. In your heart. In your heart.”
I’d always always always come back to you.

You with your open arms open legs open heart
me ready to be and aching to be and wanting to be inside and enveloped.

I won’t appear the same
as I did before.
I will (have) change(d) & You..you will (have) change(d).

But if you, like them, those others, who are trying to figure me out with their minds.
Trying to understand me with the limited mind.
Looking at me me through eyes
instead of heart to heart..
well..
what will become of us, love?
The only way to really know (me)
is by heart.

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