5-28 to 6-19 journal excerpts 5

June 10

Shot day. Went well. T walked me through it. It had it’s funny moments. I feel more sure about the muscles in my thigh than in my butt. You tube videos here I come.
..This afternoon my thigh got sore. Not at the entry point. Which I can’t find. Just inside.
..I have to accept that I’ll probably be a little guy. that’s cool. Healthy flexible strength is my aim.
..I’m a catch that needs freedom to roam
..I feel more boy that I’ve felt in a long time. My energy level is funny peaks + valleys
..Thank you Michael Jackson. I learned today that celebration is important. Celebration of achievement is important. Graciously accept praise. Don’t let criticism or misunderstanding floor you.

June 11

Chasity Bono is now Chaz is transitioning fuck. This will be good. FTM’s are out there now. Thomas + now Chaz. And Lucas. This is the year of T. So many T-babies in 2009. Yowsa. I’m freaked out or just was because if this comes up at work. Will I come out? I’d love to be out + I was saying so for the last 3 weeks but now if shit is said I’ll have to come out. Fuck!

June 12
this entry is from a different notebook

I change my name today to Evan ______. I texted all my trans folk + then my other people. I’m happy with my new name..I’m so fucking happy. Life is sweet..it’s truly one day at a time. Not a bunch of advanced planning. Don’t save it.

June 13

Yesterday-well the late night of June 11th I came up with the name Evan. the next morning I came up with______I love it.
Hung out with S. He made pizza-homemade. A 3 hour plus ordeal 🙂 It was great. I had cold slices of cucumber with mine. We watched Super Bad which was pretty good. (Why is MC’s character named Evan!?) coincidence
..I haven’t spoken with my mom in three weeks. I have to see about the name change process next week. I will love to see Evan _ ______ ______ on an id legal. Awesome. Goal. Jan 10th at the latest. I feel my tummy is a bit bigger. Period maybe? I’m at the tail end. My arms are bigger slightly.
..I may do Facebook. Yikes!
..My voice is doing its thing. T or after affects of cold, prayer, psychological need to sound deeper.

*haiku*
My boy name is cool
What responsibility
Just more growing up

One thought on “5-28 to 6-19 journal excerpts 5

  1. Nice to read about what is going through your mind and all that jazz when you came up with your name change and I always love the Haiku’s

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