A friend of mine is going through a very hard time. I know she can get through it. She doesn’t think she can. I don’t know what to say. I held her while she cried. I’m home now. In an empty house. I need a hug and to be held. I need to cry and I can’t.
Two women I love have had miscarriages in the past 3 weeks. One was my cousin. One a woman I recently had a class with.
The relationship with my mom is *shakes head*
I saw someone today that I haven’t seen in months and he said that he didn’t want to offend me but there was more life in me before. I tried to think back. I was so stressed out when we met last fall. Too many classes. I was grieving over all the lgbt youth suicides..but when we met there was a pregnant woman around and then later the baby. Pregnant women make my heart open up. We met at a good time. I told him I was just tired. Lots going on. There’s life in me still. I’m just trying to figure out my next move. Trying to get centered in my heart again. I need to find the joy within. I just smiled 😀 as I wrote that.
I got a C in ASL IV. A C is satisfactory. It will bring down my GPA (I have a 3.95 right now) It won’t be too bad. I’m okay with it because that’s clearly what I earned. ASL IV was not the 4th language class but actually the 1st interpreting class for the ASL Interpreting Program at my school. I got A’s on the quizzes, the written tests, the midterm, and all my papers. I didn’t do well on the stories. Storytelling is what it’s about. And it’s funny because that’s what I really want to do. Be a storyteller, English and ASL, written, oral, and sign (sigh). We had 4 stories and a major story for the Final and those 5 stories added up to 55% of our total grade. I don’t know what I got on the final story but I averaged a C for the stories. I got one B. I improved as I went along but it was an 8 week class and not enough time to really get comfortable. Other contributing factors would be that the class was 9-1 twice a week (my earliest class in the past year was 230p :), we also had an incredible amount of hw, video watching, community hours and no tutor or other ASL students around to ask for help or converse with. The class started with 17 people and on the last day there was 8 of us. I’m just happy I finished. It was a really fun class overall. My teacher was great and funny and nice and my classmates were cool. Out of the 4 ASL classes I’ve taken it was my 2nd favorite. ASL I taking the number 1 spot. I took ASL I last summer. It was an incredible amount of work but my classmates were really dedicated and cool and we studied for like 1-2 hours every day in addition to class. That class was in the afternoon for two hours four days a week. It was a better schedule for me. I’m okay with the grade because..well I just think it’s fair and I did my best and my best was C-level satisfactory. I can deal with it.
The Good and the Interesting:
I met a cool someone today. When we shook hands they held my hand for forever and their hand was cool and nice and comforting. I’ve been running hot the last two days. Seriously warm. But not a fever. A bit unusual but no worries. We talked for a bit. I told them they were gorgeous, beautiful, handsome (blushes) because they are. I realized just now that I opened with, “don’t I know you, I feel like I’ve seen you before.” Oy. Cliche. But I was sincere when I said it, I think we’ll be friends. Can’t wait to see them again!
Thursday night I went to the clinic where I get my T for lab results from bloodwork, STDs and Hiv, and to make my next appointment. The system was down but we got the chart the old fashioned way (ha ha) and I’m doing well. I’m clear. My weight is up 8!! pounds but I know why. I’ve been eating tons of bread this summer. I’ve gained a pound a week. I know I can lose that quickly. My blood pressure was 120/90. I’m happy about that. It’s been borderline and a bit high the last few times and they were pushing medication. They wrote a script a month or two ago but I didn’t fill it. I wanted to see if I could bring it down myself. It’s one of the sucky things about being on T. Gotta watch the BP, heart, cholesterol.
My penpal from Canada messaged me today!
I am healthy and alive and optimistic in the midst of it all.
Highlights of the day:
I woke up.
Listening to a couple lectures from The Teaching Company Masterpieces of Short Fiction DVD
Being there for a friend and her family.
Megamind (so cute and funny!)