Mad Monday/Moving

I woke up angry this morning. I woke up angry in the middle of the night. I went to bed upset, angry, and worried. My housemate, D, has been out of town since Thursday. I got home Wednesday night after having been gone for a few days. When I came through the door and finished putting my bike away, D told me she had to go out of town and she had sent her son over to his grandparent’s house for a few days. She asked me if I could watch Juno (the dog) and Azlan (the cat) while she was gone. She said that she’d pay me anything. She was desperate. She had to go. I asked her how long she’d be gone. She told me Sunday afternoon. Today is Monday. She’s still not home. She told me Sunday afternoon. I told her that I would give her a friend price of $50 for the 4 days. I usually charge more. I’ve been feeding them and walking Juno 3 times a day. I’ve had to come home in the middle of the day to do the afternoon walk. It’s been inconvenient but I didn’t feel like I could say no.

Either later that night or the next morning (Thursday) she told me she was going to San Francisco to visit a guy she met on the internet two weeks ago. I didn’t know what to say. At first he was going to come here (San Diego) the first weekend in November but then they decided she should just come to him. She didn’t leave his address or his phone number but he called while I was home and introduced himself via Skype. He seemed ok but you know, he could be a not so good guy. I asked her if she was letting any one know where she will be and she said yes. I think she’s a liar. I think she doesn’t want anyone to know what she’s doing. I didn’t ask her for his information because I’m just a roommate and she’s a grown woman and it’s none of my business. The thing is, I hadn’t heard from her since she left. She didn’t even call or text to check up on Juno and Azlan!

I texted her once to see if she had arrived and she texted me “yeah”. When she didn’t come home yesterday afternoon I started to get worried and then I got upset. I texted her, asking when she was coming home, around 6p and resent the same text around 1030p. I called and left a voicemail asking when she would be back and that this was unfair and not okay for her to leave me in this position. When I woke up this morning I saw that she or someone using her phone? texted me, “I missed the bus”. I felt angry and upset because either she was blowing me off or something terrible might have happened to her.

She was blowing me off.

I sent her a text saying that I was worried and asked her to call me. I got a text an hour later saying that she was trying to make some money and she’d be home asap..I texted her to call me and she didn’t. I asked my gf to let me use her phone to call D and guess what? She answered. I said something like, “Oh you’re alive. Good to know. When are you coming home?” She said she was somewhere trying to make some money and she’d be back when she could and that was that. I don’t think she has enough for the rent. I think she’s still hundreds of dollars behind. And rent is due on Thur and I don’t think she has it and I think she’ll get kicked out. I’m not on the lease. I’m renting a room here. I need to find another place asap.

I walked home from school after briefly talking to her. I was trying not to pass out. It felt like I was walking through mud. My stomach is upset. I decided that I need to let go of the anger. It’s easier said than done but it’s a start. I want to let go of this anger. I do know that she didn’t do this to me with intended malice. Her behavior has been self centered and unfair. I feel disrespected and frustrated because here I am in another crappy living situation. But… the bright side is, I have a roof over my head for now. I am going to sleep and the I’ll lose myself in some TV show on Netflix or Hulu for a bit and tonight I am going to start searching for a room to rent. Wish me luck!

Juno is behaving strangely. I think she’s anxious. She’s been skittish the last few times I’ve taken her for a walk. When I take her out, she does #1 every time but not #2. I don’t think D walks her or maybe she leaves her a lot because I found poop on the balcony a couple times since I’ve been taking care of her. This morning there were two piles and a pool of urine which I cleaned up and just now I went out and there were two more piles! I cleaned out the cat litter box. I hope D gets back tonight. Please, please, please.

I am working on sending both of us good vibes. I am thinking about The Golden Rule. One should treat others as one would like to be treated. If I were D, I wouldn’t want someone being super angry at me. I don’t want to be super angry at any one. I pray that every thing works out for the highest good of all of us in this situation. Me, D, her son, Juno, and Azlan and anyone else affected. I am calling on my faith. All things happen for a reason and this need not be taken personally. I am telling myself to think positively. I will find a nice place to live, no problem 🙂 Everything will be alright.

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