More Roommate Drama

I had drama with D, my roommate, when I got home last night. She grabbed me by both arms and told me to get out and that she would throw my stuff out.

I told her at the beginning of November that I was giving my 30 day notice. I told her last week or the week before when she was sending me all those texts that I would be moved by the 1st of December. Yesterday, while I was involved in a math study session I received a long text saying that I need to move my things this week. It said that she’d give me 2 or 3 days but I have to get out because she needs to take pictures and get a new roommate and so on. I got really upset (scared) and was shaking.

The night before when I got home there was junk mail in my bathroom sink with a note scribbled on top that said, “Don’t bring this trash in the house anymore, Thanks.” So, you know how it was just Thanksgiving, and the holidays are coming up, there were all these awesome coupons from all these different places and I left them downstairs on the table where I usually put them and from my perspective if she didn’t want them she could have just thrown them away. So after I read the note I threw them away except for the top one where her note was. I wrote “Ok. You’re welcome.” and left it in the kitchen. Later, while I’m in the bathroom and I hear her coming up the stairs mumbling something about trash and when I leave the bathroom, that same paper with both our notes on it, is on the floor, in the hall, in front of the bathroom. In my mind I’m thinking this is ridiculous, so I just pick it up and throw it away.

A little while later my friend who I was going to study math with came to pick me up. On my way out the door, D. says to me really nastily. “Don’t bring that trash in the house again.” And I was like, you asked me to pick up your mail like two weeks ago and now I can’t pick up the mail. And she was like, just don’t touch my mail. Then I said, it says to the residents and I live here and I think she said, don’t touch any of my shit, ok? And I said thanks and left.

My friend and I go study right around the corner from where I live. That’s when I got the text that said I needed to get out in 2 or 3 days and I freak out for a bit. At this point I can’t concentrate on math. I feel really mad and scared. My friend tells me I can come over to her place and that she felt I needed to get out right away. So, I decide to go over to Starbucks to see if they have some boxes and when I’m going over there, a policeman is walking out. I ask him if he has a second to talk and I explain the situation to him and he assures me that she can’t kick me out, even though I’m not on the lease. I showed him my receipt that I had payed my rent and deposit and told him that the deposit was covering this last month’s rent. He gave me his card and gave me some advice and told me, to tell her, what he told me. I have a legal right to stay there. He also gave me his card to give to her and told me if I had any problems to call him.

After talking to the cop I felt better and my friend and I studied for another half an hour or so. My friend then dropped me at my girlfriend’s house and then I tell my gf what happened. I text D, saying that we agreed to the 1st and I have made plans accordingly. She text me back, “the first is not the end of the month. Change your plans. I don’t respond after that. My gf and I go to Vons to get some boxes and a few things for dinner. We then go back to my place and my girlfriend has to wait outside because I am now not allowed to have anyone come over. I go up to my room and drop the boxes. I grab a bag and start getting my stuff out of the fridge and some of stuff from my food cabinet. I give that bag to my gf and go back inside to get my bike. I put my bike outside and go back in and tell D that I need to talk to her. She says, “not now”. And I say, “when then? I’m never here and you sent me this text while I’m studying and I just want to tell you that I’m moving on the 1st. I talked to a police officer and he said I’m within my legal rights…” So she gets really mad and she says we’re not talking about this right now. Not in front of my son and she starts yelling in my face and she grabs me and yells for me to get out! And she says that she’s going to throw all my stuff out or put all my stuff down in the living room so she can take pictures of the room. So I sit down on the stairs by the front door and tell her that if she would have asked me in a civil manner about taking pictures instead of telling me to get out and putting her hands on me this might have been different.

Because she kept talking about throwing my stuff out, I tell her that I’m calling the police. She takes her son upstairs and then we just start going at it verbally. I told her she didn’t have a problem with me until I gave her my 30 days notice and she said that when she got back from her trip that I was different. And I said that she was different when she got back and that I decided that I didn’t want to live with a drug addict that abuses her animals. She said that she was not a drug addict and that she doesn’t abuse the animals and I told her that neglect is a form of abuse and we went back and forth about it. Sometimes when I come home there’s poop and pee in the living room and there’s no food for them and the water bowl is empty and their’s toys and trash all over the place and the kitchen’s a mess, etc..That means she’s been gone for awhile. The animals are abandoned. We go back and forth for awhile. I couldn’t find the non-emergency police number. My hands were shaking to bad. I was too upset. So my gf and I left. When we got on the bus I found the number I was looking for and talked to an officer. She asked me where I was and that she could send police officers to the apartment. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. When I got to my gf’s house I was really upset thinking about how D. said that she was going to throw my things out, so I decided to ride my back home and call the police.

The police came and asked me what the situation was and they told me I was voluntarily leaving and that I didn’t actually have to go anywhere. If I changed my mind today, that I could stay. She would have to go the courthouse, file paperwork for eviction and when it went through I would have 30 days after that. I told them that I needed to get a few more things out of the house for school tomorrow and I didn’t want to risk a physical altercation with my roommate and I wanted her to know the law. So, we go in and she’s surprised. I hold Juno (the dog) back and tell her to sit. The officers start talking to D. One of the officer’s tells me to go and get my stuff. The whole thing was really cool because the officer straight up told her, you are not allowed to put your hands on him or his things or tell him to leave. She starts saying, this is my house and the police officer tells her that I live here too. It’s my house too. And she says I’m a stranger and the cops like, “he’s lived here for 2 months, come on”. And she’s like, he’s barely been here. So the cop explains to her the law and talks about the lease and that the lease is an agreement between the tenants and the leasing office so the leasing office gets paid. They can’t kick anyone out and make them homeless. They’d have to go to court and serve the tenants with an eviction notice and so on. Then the cop says, if you’re renting out the place without the leasing office knowing, that’s on you. But you can’t kick him out.

I felt a whole lot better after hearing him tell her that. She said, “what if he get’s in my face?” and one of the cops was like, “ma’am just walk away.” And she was like, “what about my son?” and the cop was getting exasperated a little and said, “you take your son and you walk away”. And then she said what if he’s antagonistic? What if he follows me?” and one of the cops was like, “it isn’t against the law to be antagonistic and if he follows you or threatens you, that’s a whole other thing, but if he wants to talk about the rent or the deposit or whatever, he can do so and if you don’t want to talk, just walk away”. So, D goes on with her what if’s for a little bit and one of the cops was like, “now we’re dealing in hypotheticals. We just want you to understand the law.”

One of the cops asks me if I had everything and then we walked out. He had a few more questions and he told me that when he said the part about having someone rent a room without the leasing office know, my roommate had a “busted” look on her face. I wish I would have seen it. I was just listening, I wasn’t looking at her. She denied grabbing me. She totally lied! The cop asked me, if I didn’t mind telling him, why was I moving? And I hesitated and then said’s not a healthy environment for me. There’s drugs, sometimes I come home and the place is trashed, beer bottles everywhere, a bong on the table, she abuses her animals, I just don’t want to live with her. He asks me what she does for a living and I tell him that she’s a single stay at home mom right now. I tell him I think she’s depressed. He asks about her husband and I tell him that they are in the middle of a divorce, he’s military and when he comes over he’s not allowed in the house at all. The officer then tells me I can leave and he goes back in the house where his partner and D. are talking. I don’t know what happened after that.

I rode to my gf’s house. Her mom says that I can stay there for a little while. I don’t want to but I’ll take her up on it if need be. I felt happy that I called the police. It was a hard choice and I have never done that before and didn’t really want to but I am glad I did. I don’t know what will happen. There’s only two weeks left of school and I have a major project due on Thursday that I’m about 50% done with. I think it’ll take 5 more hours but I’m not sure. My math exam was moved from Friday til next Monday! and my Theory exam is next Thursday instead of this Thursday. So really all I have to do is go to class, do my hw, finish this project, find a place to live, and stay healthy!

The last few days I’ve started back with meditation. Mindfulness, projecting unconditional love and giving myself unconditional love. I’ve been reconnecting with my inner wisdom and it’s helped me tremendously. I don’t feel burdened. I feel hopeful that things will work out the best for all involved.


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