I didn’t go to Bio lecture and lab tonight. I thought I’d be able to make it but I fell into an exhausted sleep a little after 5 and woke up a little before 8p. The reason I fell into an exhausted sleep is dealing with stress brought on by conversations with my nephew’s mom, yesterday morning, yesterday after work and this morning.
I visited my nephew (q)two weeks ago. I was there for 5 days. I haven’t seen him in person since he was 2 and he’s 7 now. It was a long time coming. The reason I hadn’t seen him is because my brother and my nephews Mom, (Mg) were fighting really bad. They were never really together except for 3 weeks or so and that short time together produced my nephew. They were never boyfriend and girlfriend. They did live together for a few months while she was pregnant and for a short while after she had the baby. They’ve gone back and forth about court dates and partial custody and now she has full custody. I didn’t know this until the night before my visit ended.
To back up a bit, my brother has been having a really tough time lately and has been sporadic about his contact with me and the rest of the family. He’s a private person. The thing is, is that this past 9 months to a year his contact with q has not been consistent. He missed his last two court dates and the judge gave Mg full custody. I think it may be temporary full custody for now.
Mg and I have been friends since we met when she was about 6 months pregnant. She’s someone that if I met at school, work, or the bus stop, we’d be friends. We have a strong connection. When my nephew was about 2, my brother and her fell out and my brother told me not to talk to her. I choose my friends and I don’t let anyone dictate who I can be in a relationship with. Besides that, I’d known her for 3 years at that point and I considered/consider her family. My brother has been mad at me on and off over the years and has told me that I’m not his family, that I am disloyal and so on. At one point we agreed not to talk to about Mg when he and I talked and I’ve stuck to that. He always brings her up.
I always have told both my brother and Mg that I want to stay as neutral as possible. What they do is between them. I wanted my nephew to know that no matter if his parents and grandparents are fighting there was one person in his life that loved both his parents. He’s a mix of both of them. He’s always going to have a black father and what my brother doesn’t seem to get is that when he talks negative about Mg and her parents that it can really affect q’s self esteem. There’s been racist comments from my brother and my parents towards Mg and her family. Mg and her family are white and my family is black so q is mixed. Because of his parents fighting all the time he doesn’t know my side of the family and my visit was supposed to bridge that gap. Even though I’ve spoken on the phone with him over the years and used Facetime to talk with him it’s not the same as seeing him face to face.
So I was visiting them and the day before I left Mg and I started talking about arrangements for q to visit with my family for a thing we call Family Fun Weekend. It’s in August and it’s an hour away from where they live. I live 9-10 hours away by bus. I’m in southern California and they live in northern California. Anyways, I told her about the Family Fun Weekend trip in December and we’ve talked about it on and off since then. The plan was to establish a relationship with Quinn and if he felt comfortable with me that he could come to FFW and maybe Thanksgiving with me. Mg over the past two months before the trip talked on the phone on average 3 times a week. She had called me a couple times in January, crying about my brother. She had found out his living situation and about his health issues and she was really upset and worried because she couldn’t get in touch with him. I didn’t know what to do so I suggested we say a prayer for him. It’s a healing prayer:
This prayer is for ***** ******* ****** ** born (insert birthday) We acknowledge that he is a sovereign soul and has free will. We pray and ask for positive healing energy be sent into his energy field and surround him all day long to release any and all negative energy patterns that he has. Grant him a positive mindset to fully release any negative issues in all areas of his life. May he let go of all that isn’t his.
After the prayer we have 1 minute of silence. At first that’s all we did but then we started talking about our day to day lives and we were more a part of each other’s lives than ever before and it was good.