The following post is a continuation from Family Drama Pt. 1
The last day of my trip when we were talking about the trip in August I said we should make plans just in case my brother wasn’t around to bring him. She sort of balked and said she didn’t think that was a good idea. She didn’t want my brother alone with q. So I was like totally shocked because we had been doing the prayers and she had been saying she wanted my brother to be a part of q’s life. q needs his dad. So I was like he can’t even spend 45 minutes on the train with him? And she said no, that I didn’t know what he’s been like and that the last time q saw his dad he came back really quiet and not himself. So then I was like, can my dad come get him then, and then she said she didn’t feel comfortable that she could trust my dad, and then I said well I could get my Aunt and Uncle or my cousin to bring me to get him. And then she said but what if your brother is there? And I was like my brother can be there if he wants to be. And I was like totally blown away by the conversation. I asked her when would my brother be able to see my nephew or be alone with him for an hour. Like I had planned to buy him and my nephew plane tickets to fly out for Thanksgiving. She said it would be a couple years. And I was like a couple years!! And I felt really dispirited. I felt like everything my brother had said about her was true. That she was controlling, that she changes her mind and switches things to suit her needs at the moment. I told her I felt like nothing he’d do would be able to be enough. So as we were talking it ended up being time to meet up with her mom and her sisters and going over to her mom’s house to play board games and maybe watch a movie.
Her and my nephew got into a huge fight about him turning off his game and putting on his shoes to get ready to go. There had been little things between them all day. He just wasn’t listening. This fight ended up really bad. She told him she couldn’t be near him or look in his face or something like that and she slammed her bedroom door. He immediately goes to the door and tries to leave. I’m in shock like, dude you can’t leave. So he’s going out the door and I tell him to come back. I’m trying to call Mg’s mom to see if she’s near to picking us up. I don’t like fighting and I wanted to get out of the house too. Mg comes out and calls q back in the house. And he comes back in but she goes back to her room and then he’s reaching for the door again, and I tell him no. Now, from my perspective this seems like this may be normal behaviour for them. Later, when I talk to her about it I tell her that I thought it was unsafe, he’s 7 years old, he can’t just leave the house when he’s upset. I told her I wanted to stand in front of the door and she said next time instead of judging her I should just do that if I think I should. And I was like, I’m just meeting him. I didn’t know what I could do to discipline him. q goes outside and I do too. She calls down that her mom was their so q and I go to meet them. Mg decided to stay on go to the gym.
While I’m at lunch with her family she calls me. I pick up the phone and see that she has left me 7 long texts!! I tell her that I’m at lunch and that maybe she needs to take the night off. She’s stressed out. I just want to enjoy my last night with q and her family and I needed to eat lunch. I had eaten since early that morning and it was after 3p. She texts me again and her sister tells me she’ll deal with her. I decide to just be with q and Mg’s sister and mom talk with her when we get back to her moms house. They tell her to just come over. She wanted to talk to me apparently and I told her nothing could get resolved that night and I just wanted to spend time with q. She basically kept calling and then told us that q had to be home by 7p because he needed to go to bed. This was at 6 and we were about to watch Frozen. We ended up playing Candyland and we bought q back home. He didn’t want to go. I told him I had to go back to the house because I had to pack and he said in a small voice, “you’re leaving?’ That was super upsetting because Mg told me that she would tell him. As long as he knows what’s going on, he’s okay. I thought she had told him. When we got in I told her I wasn’t feeling well. At this point my throat was hurting and my body was shutting down. She insisted that we talked. It was upsetting.
The next day I left. She called a car for me, she said she didn’t want to hug goodbye. The thing is, before her melt down I had already booked my flight to come back for a visit the last weekend of May. The plan has been to visit my nephew as much as I can this year. It was going to be April, May, August, November. Now, I don’t know what will happen. *sigh*