Happy Friday/Happy Saturday!

It’s been a long day! I had a Dr’s appointment in the early afternoon. I have a new primary doctor. I had a physical exam. It’s been almost 3 years. I get the results in about a month because my Dr. is going on vacation. If anything is abnormal the Health Center will call me in and go over the results. I had to get a breast exam and a cervical exam. Even though I live as a male, my anatomy is still mostly female so it’s important that I went to get these things done. The cervical exam was painful because I have a small canal. I had a little bit of tears. My Dr. tried to do it as fast as he could, while explaining everything that he did. A transwoman I know was the medical assistant in the room. It made me feel more comfortable. I’m glad I got it done.

I called customer service for the insurance I have and the agent told me when I get a referral from my Dr. they’ll cover my top surgery. Since this is the first time I am seeing this Dr. he said we have to establish care. I don’t know how long that will take but hopefully it’ll be in the next few months. I go to another clinic that specializes in lgbt low income care. I have an appointment with them in a couple weeks. I haven’t been since December and I see a different Dr. every time so I don’t know if they’ll be able to give me a referral. I’ve been going to that clinic for over 5 years now, so I am hopeful they can help me. I’m also hoping a Dr. there will write me a letter so I can get my gender legally changed for my SSN and Passport. My driver’s license and name change happened within the first 5 months of medical transition so I’ve been able to get along fine but it’ll be nice to be have the SSN and passport have that “M” marker. I don’t plan to change my birth certificate. I wish I could just add an amendment to it stating that I was born on blah blah date with the sex marker “F” and transitioned blah blah date to “M”. Socially, I want everything to have the gender marker “M” but medically I’d like it to say F to M so the Dr’s and other health care workers will know my history and be able to provide the best treatment for me.

In a few hours I have to go back to the clinic and get bloodwork down. I am supposed to fast. A 12 hours fast. I can only drink water. I’ve made it through 7 hours so far. I’m hungry now. I should have gone to sleep hours ago!!

I ended up staying up to work on a GoFundMe page. I was very reluctant to do one. I feel embarrassed. I know there’s a lot of people out there who are in worse situations than I am. But I am on the brink of homelessness again and I’ll do anything to avoid it. I don’t have any place to go. I would usually stay with my Aunt and my Uncle who live almost two hours away, but my homophobic/transphobic cousin lost his job and is staying there for who knows how long. He tried to beat me up last summer and I just can’t be around him and feel safe. His son, my little cousin who I’ve spent the last 3 summers and last two Christmases is there this month but I’m not allowed to see him this because my cousin doesn’t want me around him at all. It’s sad. I have no family in the city that I’m in. My friend who lives up the street has two friends staying with her and her roommate right now. There’s no room for me. My landlady texted me today to leave my rent in the envelope she provided. I am completely stressed out right now. I know legally she’d have to serve me with a 30 day notice. I don’t know how this’ll go. I go to the 2nd house on the property to use the bathroom/shower. I don’t know if she’ll lock me out. I’m scared.

Anyway, I’ll put a link here for the GoFundMe page and I’ll probably make a widget for it.


Hope all is well.

Grateful for Medical. Thankful for a nice Doctor.
Thanks for Crystal. Thanks for Titanic. I had it on in the background tonight.
Thanks for Stephen Fry’s reading of Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban.


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