Earlier today I went by my ex’s house to grab my bike and to see if my hand knitted blanket that my grandmother made me was still in her closet. I texted my friend who lives there first and he told me she was home. I promised him that I’d be in out. No arguing. When I asked her if it was there she looked but it was the wrong closet and then she thought I said coat or something and I was like no, my grandmother’s blanket. I thought it was on the top shelf in the walk-in because I didn’t want anything to happen to it. I thought I remember not wanting it to be in storage. Anyways, she said it wasn’t there but of course I want to see for myself. If she’s not home tomorrow then I will, if she is then I’ll ask her if I can.
She had told me the other day that once I get my stuff out that if she found anything else she would throw it out 😦 I asked her if she found it to please not throw it out, to tell one of the guys to get in touch. Side note: My grandmother had 10 children. My day was number 5. She made blankets for all of her adult children. My dad passed away about a month before I was born so she made one for me in 2005 I think. My grandmother has since passed. I do know if I look around and it’s not at Ash’s, it’s in my storage unit in a wooden chest that I bought last year. So I’m not too worried. Just want to make sure I don’t leave it behind.
She was her now usual self. Full of attitude. She talks to me with such disdain and so dismissively. It’s actually shocking to my system. Before I left, I asked her again for my phone that I have been letting her borrow. I asked her to leave it with my things tomorrow morning. She said she would but she’s trying to get her pictures and whatever else out of it. She was walking up the stairs when she said that. Then I said, and my charger. I have a dual charger, two phones can charge at the same time. I had got that when we were early on in our relationship. She’s had both the phone and the charger for months now.
Now onto the Good News! My friend is picking me up tomorrow so I can take my stuff that I have there and put it in my storage unit. He’s a bit pressed for time. If we can’t fit it all in one trip, my co-worker will help me take the rest. So after that, and after I get my phone and charger back, that will be that.
The little peace that I started feeling about an hour ago is because I realized that Ash has been behaving the way she has because she’s hurt. She feels rejected. Over the last couple of months I thought well maybe this, maybe that..maybe she’s lost it. But now I think it’s that her feeling are hurt and this is how she’s dealing with it. For some reason that makes me feel better to know that. I really wish I could stop taking things personally though. It would save a lot of grief and mental anguish for me. Any old way. One more day. One more day!!!