I moved my stuff out on Friday morning. I’m glad to have it done. The last two months of dealing with/living this situation involving Ash and the effects of the dissolving of our friendship have been disheartening, sickening, and stressful.
On Thursday, I messaged my friend, one of her roommates, to see if he’d be home Friday morning. He said he would be there until 830a. Another friend was set to meet me at 9a to load up my things and drop them off at my storage unit. Friday, around 8am I send him (the roommate) a message to say I am about 5 minutes away. He texts back that he’s not there!!! He’s downtown. He said that Ash should be home. Great. Fantastic.
So, I get there and I knock on the door. No answer. I knock on and off for like 7 minutes. Time is ticking away. I still need to pack my few dishes and tape the top of 5 of the boxes closed. I decide to go around back because her room is around the back on the 2nd floor. I yell up to her window (which is opened out with no screen) and no answer. I have a feeling she is home but just not answering. I call her name twice more. No answer. Then I look for a small rock. I throw it towards the window and hit the side of the building. The next small rock hits the building also. Terrible aim I have. The 3rd small rock bounces off the left window and then her head pops out of the right window and she starts screaming. What the f___are you doing? What the f___ is wrong with you. I say I’m sorry.
I come around the front of the house and she wrenches the door open and is bringing out my bike (I usually come just to grab my bike so I can ride to school/work) I was like, uh no, I’m going to move my stuff. She yells, get your stuff and get the f___out! I tell her my friend is coming in half an hour. Meanwhile she’s yelling about the window and that I could’ve broken her window. I say I’m sorry like 6 times during her tirade. I really am sorry. I’d be upset too if I thought someone was trying to break my window. But I wasn’t. I gently tossed those rocks. She says, don’t say you’re sorry. I say, but I am. I ask her if she’ll be around for a little bit because we may have to make two trips. She says she probably will be, yeh. She yells for about 5 minutes about the window while she’s feeding the cat and getting something to eat I think. She ends up stomping up the stairs and slams the door and then I can here her loudly talking on the phone to her friend.
A little after 9a my friend comes and we load his car. I didn’t think we’d get the stuff to fit. I had a few other things going to the place I’m staying right now but my friend was pressed for time. The storage unit I have is about 15 minutes away from my ex’s place and it took us about 5 minutes to unload once we got there. Super quick and easy. Plenty of room left in my unit. I was worried for nothing. Not really enough for my bike though unless I put it in vertically. While I was still at the storage place I texted another friend to see if she’d still be able to help me out. I had asked her the day before at work (she’s a co-worker) if she’d be able to help and she said yes. While I was waiting for her, I started feeling really really low. Just really tired. Exhausted really. Really sad that Ash is the way she is and that her behaviour has been so awful.
A mutual friend of ours calls me and makes me laugh. Oh, I had texted her and another friend to ask advice about my phone that I let Ash use which she was supposed to have given back to me in early October. I was seriously thinking of just letting it go. Thinking it might not be worth it to ask again. I had asked her for it Monday and again on Thursday and she had snapped at me both times saying she’d give it back, she just had to get her pictures off of it. I told her when I saw her on Thursday to leave my phone and my charger downstairs with my stuff by Friday morning. When I got to the house it wasn’t with my stuff and since I was being yelled at about the window I was afraid to ask for it.
Any old way, about the phone. My first friend asked me if it was the principle of the thing or was it the phone itself? That is a good question. I think both but more it was the principle of the thing. I don’t want her benefiting anymore from knowing me. I want her to feel my absence. Funny enough though, I’m pretty sure she’s happy to be done. If she’s as glad as I am that is. Anyways, back to what to do about the phone. My 2nd friend said that I should get my phone. It’s mine. I decided I’d ask again and have her maybe give it to one of our mutual friends to give to me later or..really just let it go. Just let it go, because I wanted it to be done.
So, as I am texting with my 2nd friend, I hear a knock on the door. Ashley comes down to answer it, she says in a friendly, sweet tone, Oh, hi, how are you? I haven’t heard that tone in months! ha ha I hear my co-worker/friend greet her in return and ask for me. I am totally shocked. I get up and go to the door and say, I thought you were going to text or call. I only had a few things at this point. A roll up futon, two backpacks, a medium sized suitcase and a near empty duffel (the duffel had 2 plastic water pitchers in it that I had forgotten). We load the stuff in my friend’s car and I park my bike across the street at Taco Bell. I planned to get it later that day. I go back to the house and take a quick look around the downstairs area to make sure I got everything. I go upstairs and ask Ash, could I pop my head in her closet to take a quick look around for my grandmother’s blanket. She says no. I say for peace of mind. She says no. I say, if you find it later, please, please don’t throw it away, give it to one of the guys to give to me. Then I ask for my phone. She says she hasn’t gotten the pictures off yet. I give her a look that said, excuses, always excuses, and ask for my phone again and tell her I’ve already talked to one of her roommates/my friend and that he’ll get her stuff off of it. She goes to get my phone and charger and sort of forcefully puts it in my hand. As I am saying thank you she slams the door in my face. I go downstairs and I am surprised to see my co-worker in the doorway. She says somethin like, Oh, I see now. Is this how she is? I say, this is how it’s been, but worse. She makes a comment that Ash was so nice at the door and so nice during orientation this summer. Earlier this summer I got Ash a temp job at my job and my friend was in charge of new-hire paperwork and orientations. At this point of the day, I was just glad to be done with Ash. I mean almost done. The pictures on the phone would be the last tie between us.
*there will be a Pt 2.