I’ve been thinking about sexuality a lot recently. I started searching around the internet for information about Asexuality in 2011 because at that time it had been almost 7 years since I had been with anyone and I didn’t feel sexual feelings for people. I then got involved with two women in early 2012 and was with one of them for almost two years. It’s been about a year since we ended things and last week I was like, wow, it’s been a year that I’ve had sex with someone other than myself and I didn’t even notice. And when I think about being sexual with someone my mind is like, uh, not interested so I started looking at forums and tumblr blogs and reading articles about Aesexuality again and am currently identifying with Grey-Ace (gray asexual). I’ve been reading things about sexual attraction and asking myself, how do you know what sexual attraction is? Is sexual attraction different than sexual desire? If I get sexually aroused but don’t feel interested in having sex with someone what does that mean? For years and years (maybe 9 years now) I’ve called myself a mysexual because I like having sex with myself and I don’t think anything is wrong with it. I’ve just been thinking about how to talk to other people about it. I’ve been thinking about am I ever going to be with anyone really again. I was in a sexless relationship for almost 6 years in my late teens/early 20s and when I ended that relationship it’s because I didn’t want to go the rest of my life without having sex. Now I’m thinking it was more about not having the option of sex. Anyways, I came across this blog post tonight and thought I’d share it. Cheers
A companion piece to Differentiating Types of Attraction.
On the surface, attraction and desire would appear to be equivalent and interchangeable terms, especially for those who have only experienced the two simultaneously, but the assumption that follows — that they’re “basically the same thing” — only makes sense if you’re unaware of or have not considered the ways in which one can exist without the other. You may quibble that one of these should be redubbed with another name, but what’s relevant is that two different possibilities exist, with the potential to overlap and the potential to not.
Unlike arousal, sexual attraction and sexual desire both occur on the psychological level, and both are generally thought of as “wanting to have sex with someone”, which is accurate, in a sense, but only sometimes — to the point where such a definition can muddle understandings once it’s taken into other…
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