Got My Stuff Out! Pt. 2

Pt. 1 

Any old way, about the phone. My first friend asked me if it was the principle of the thing, my 2nd friend said that I should get my phone. I decided I’d ask again and have her maybe give it to one of our mutual friends to give to me later or..really just let it go. Because I wanted it to be done. So, as I am texting with my 2nd friend, I hear a knock on the door. Ashley comes down to answer it, she says in a friendly, sweet tone, Oh, hi, how are you? I haven’t heard that tone in months! ha ha I hear my co-worker/friend greet her in return and ask for me. I am totally shocked. I get up and go to the door and say, I thought you were going to text or call. I only have a few things left in this house at this point. A roll up futon, two backpacks, a medium sized suitcase and a near empty duffel (the duffel had 2 plastic water pitchers in it that I had forgotten. We load the stuff in my friend’s car and I park my bike across the street at Taco Bell. I planned to get it later that day. I go back to the house and take a quick look around the downstairs area to make sure I got everything. I go upstairs to ask Ash could I pop my head in her closet to take a quick look around for my grandmother’s blanket. She says no. I say for peace of mind. She says no. I ask her if she finds it, maybe like when she moves, could she please not throw it away, could she please just give it to one of the guys to give to me.Then I ask for my phone.

She tells me she hasn’t gotten the pictures off yet. I give her a look that says, excuses, always excuses  and ask for my phone again and tell her I’ve already talked to one of her roommates/my friend and that he’ll get the stuff off of it. She goes to get my phone and charger and sort of forcefully puts it into my hand. As I am saying thank you she slams the door in my face. I go downstairs and I am surprised to see my friend/co-worker in the doorway. She says something like, Oh, I see now. Is this how she is? I say, this is how it’s been, but worse. She makes a comment that Ash was so nice at the door and so nice during orientation this summer. Earlier in the summer, I got Ash a temp job at my job and my friend was in charge of new-hire paperwork and orientations.

My friend and I dropped the roll up futon and the two water pitchers at my storage unit and then the other stuff at the place that I am staying for the time being. Unfortunately when I was lifting the medium suitcase out of the trunk to put on the curb, my left knee gave out. I heard a pop and my left knee bent out to the side and all of a sudden I’m on my backside wondering how I got there! My knee hurt and I was scared to put my weight on it but after a few moments it seemed alright. I dropped my stuff inside and then got a ride to the Taco Bell so I could grab my bike and take it back to the house that I am staying at right now. It got worse as the day went on. It started throbbing. I took ibuprofen and have been taking care of it. Still walking around but favoring it. Been two days now. My knee is stiff and still a little sore but feeling better.

Back to the phone.
I got the pictures off yesterday (Saturday). It took over 3.5 hours!! I have a Macbook and the phone is a Motorola Razr. For some reason Android File Transfer wasn’t working. My computer wouldn’t recognize the device as an external device. After messing around with it for awhile trying to get it to work, I finally found another way to get the files off. There’s this app called Airdroid. It was working perfectly until I hit the 100MB maximum. Apparently it’ll reset in 30 days! I found a way around it though, without upgrading to the premiere app. If the phone and the computer are on the same network the data transferring is free. I thought I had wiped the phone before I let her borrow it but I hadn’t. I had to sift through both our things. But it wasn’t that hard since she’s had the phone since February or March I just sorted by date. I went through the phone twice. There ended up being over 1,649 items and ended up being 1.06 GB. My stuff was only 3GB. The phone has 8GB internal storage and 16GB external storage. Our stuff combined barely took up any space. I organized her things into 7 folders and typed up a list of her contacts (names and numbers). I uploaded the files to my dropbox and sent the link to my friend/her roommate. He got them downloaded onto his computer and uploaded to his dropbox and that is that! As of yesterday, I have no need of further contact with Ashley.

Right now, I don’t have any personal regrets about the relationship. It sucks that it ended so badly. I still find myself reeling or not quite being able to grasp what has happened. How did this person I love and shared so much of myself with turn into such a nightmare? One day, I know, I won’t even wonder that. I was thinking about it earlier today and I comfort myself with knowing that I did all that I could. I did my best in that relationship and in the situation of the last two months. Now, it’s time to use that doing-the-best-I-can in other aspects of my life. I would totally be unstoppable! 😀

Got My Stuff Out! Pt. 1

I moved my stuff out on Friday morning. I’m glad to have it done. The last two months of dealing with/living this situation involving Ash and the effects of the dissolving of our friendship have been disheartening, sickening, and stressful.

On Thursday, I messaged my friend, one of her roommates, to see if he’d be home Friday morning. He said he would be there until 830a. Another friend was set to meet me at 9a to load up my things and drop them off at my storage unit. Friday, around 8am I send him (the roommate) a message to say I am about 5 minutes away. He texts back that he’s not there!!! He’s downtown. He said that Ash should be home. Great. Fantastic.

So, I get there and I knock on the door. No answer. I knock on and off for like 7 minutes. Time is ticking away. I still need to pack my few dishes and tape the top of 5 of the boxes closed. I decide to go around back because her room is around the back on the 2nd floor. I yell up to her window (which is opened out with no screen) and no answer. I have a feeling she is home but just not answering. I call her name twice more. No answer. Then I look for a small rock. I throw it towards the window and hit the side of the building. The next small rock hits the building also. Terrible aim I have. The 3rd small rock bounces off the left window and then her head pops out of the right window and she starts screaming. What the f___are you doing? What the f___ is wrong with you. I say I’m sorry.

I come around the front of the house and she wrenches the door open and is bringing out my bike (I usually come just to grab my bike so I can ride to school/work) I was like, uh no, I’m going to move my stuff. She yells, get your stuff and get the f___out! I tell her my friend is coming in half an hour. Meanwhile she’s yelling about the window and that I could’ve broken her window. I say I’m sorry like 6 times during her tirade. I really am sorry. I’d be upset too if I thought someone was trying to break my window. But I wasn’t. I gently tossed those rocks. She says, don’t say you’re sorry. I say, but I am. I ask her if she’ll be around for a little bit because we may have to make two trips. She says she probably will be, yeh. She yells for about 5 minutes about the window while she’s feeding the cat and getting something to eat I think. She ends up stomping up the stairs and slams the door and then I can here her loudly talking on the phone to her friend.

A little after 9a my friend comes and we load his car. I didn’t think we’d get the stuff to fit. I had a few other things going to the place I’m staying right now but my friend was pressed for time. The storage unit I have is about 15 minutes away from my ex’s place and it took us about 5 minutes to unload once we got there. Super quick and easy. Plenty of room left in my unit. I was worried for nothing. Not really enough for my bike though unless I put it in vertically. While I was still at the storage place I texted another friend to see if she’d still be able to help me out. I had asked her the day before at work (she’s a co-worker) if she’d be able to help and she said yes. While I was waiting for her, I started feeling really really low. Just really tired. Exhausted really. Really sad that Ash is the way she is and that her behaviour has been so awful.

A mutual friend of ours calls me and makes me laugh. Oh, I had texted her and another friend to ask advice about my phone that I let Ash use which she was supposed to have given back to me in early October. I was seriously thinking of just letting it go. Thinking it might not be worth it to ask again. I had asked her for it Monday and again on Thursday and she had snapped at me both times saying she’d give it back, she just had to get her pictures off of it. I told her when I saw her on Thursday to leave my phone and my charger downstairs with my stuff by Friday morning. When I got to the house it wasn’t with my stuff and since I was being yelled at about the window I was afraid to ask for it.

Any old way, about the phone. My first friend asked me if it was the principle of the thing or was it the phone itself? That is a good question. I think both but more it was the principle of the thing. I don’t want her benefiting anymore from knowing me. I want her to feel my absence. Funny enough though, I’m pretty sure she’s happy to be done. If she’s as glad as I am that is. Anyways, back to what to do about the phone. My 2nd friend said that I should get my phone. It’s mine.  I decided I’d ask again and have her maybe give it to one of our mutual friends to give to me later or..really just let it go. Just let it go, because I wanted it to be done.

So, as I am texting with my 2nd friend, I hear a knock on the door. Ashley comes down to answer it, she says in a friendly, sweet tone, Oh, hi, how are you? I haven’t heard that tone in months! ha ha I hear my co-worker/friend greet her in return and ask for me. I am totally shocked. I get up and go to the door and say, I thought you were going to text or call. I only had a few things at this point. A roll up futon, two backpacks, a medium sized suitcase and a near empty duffel (the duffel had 2 plastic water pitchers in it that I had forgotten). We load the stuff in my friend’s car and I park my bike across the street at Taco Bell. I planned to get it later that day. I go back to the house and take a quick look around the downstairs area to make sure I got everything. I go upstairs and ask Ash, could I pop my head in her closet to take a quick look around for my grandmother’s blanket. She says no. I say for peace of mind. She says no. I say, if you find it later, please, please don’t throw it away, give it to one of the guys to give to me. Then I ask for my phone. She says she hasn’t gotten the pictures off yet. I give her a look that said, excuses, always excuses, and ask for my phone again and tell her I’ve already talked to one of her roommates/my friend and that he’ll get her stuff off of it. She goes to get my phone and charger and sort of forcefully puts it in my hand. As I am saying thank you she slams the door in my face. I go downstairs and I am surprised to see my co-worker in the doorway. She says somethin like, Oh, I see now. Is this how she is? I say, this is how it’s been, but worse. She makes a comment that Ash was so nice at the door and so nice during orientation this summer. Earlier this summer I got Ash a temp job at my job and my friend was in charge of new-hire paperwork and orientations. At this point of the day, I was just glad to be done with Ash. I mean almost done. The pictures on the phone would be the last tie between us.

*there will be a Pt 2.

A Little Peace/Moving Things To Storage

Earlier today I went by my ex’s house to grab my bike and to see if my hand knitted blanket that my grandmother made me was still in her closet. I texted my friend who lives there first and he told me she was home. I promised him that I’d be in out. No arguing. When I asked her if it was there she looked but it was the wrong closet and then she thought I said coat or something and I was like no, my grandmother’s blanket. I thought it was on the top shelf in the walk-in because I didn’t want anything to happen to it. I thought I remember not wanting it to be in storage. Anyways, she said it wasn’t there but of course I want to see for myself. If she’s not home tomorrow then I will, if she is then I’ll ask her if I can.

She had told me the other day that once I get my stuff out that if she found anything else she would throw it out 😦 I asked her if she found it to please not throw it out, to tell one of the guys to get in touch. Side note: My grandmother had 10 children. My day was number 5. She made blankets for all of her adult children. My dad passed away about a month before I was born so she made one for me in 2005 I think. My grandmother has since passed. I do know if I look around and it’s not at Ash’s, it’s in my storage unit in a wooden chest that I bought last year. So I’m not too worried. Just want to make sure I don’t leave it behind.

She was her now usual self. Full of attitude. She talks to me with such disdain and so dismissively. It’s actually shocking to my system. Before I left, I asked her again for my phone that I have been letting her borrow. I asked her to leave it with my things tomorrow morning. She said she would but she’s trying to get her pictures and whatever else out of it. She was walking up the stairs when she said that. Then I said, and my charger. I have a dual charger, two phones can charge at the same time. I had got that when we were early on in our relationship. She’s had both the phone and the charger for months now.

Now onto the Good News! My friend is picking me up tomorrow so I can take my stuff that I have there and put it in my storage unit. He’s a bit pressed for time. If we can’t fit it all in one trip, my co-worker will help me take the rest. So after that, and after I get my phone and charger back, that will be that.

The little peace that I started feeling about an hour ago is because I realized that Ash has been behaving the way she has because she’s hurt. She feels rejected. Over the last couple of months I thought well maybe this, maybe that..maybe she’s lost it. But now I think it’s that her feeling are hurt and this is how she’s dealing with it. For some reason that makes me feel better to know that. I really wish I could stop taking things personally though. It would save a lot of grief and mental anguish for me. Any old way. One more day. One more day!!!